Monday, June 14, 2010

Are You Raising a Douchebag?

This is a great article. I see this developing sense of entitlement (and where it comes from) just about every day.
Unfortunately, the people that will write it off as hogwash after the first two paragraphs and not read further are likely the ones who can answer "Yes" to the headline.
For the record, I'm not a parent and I read every word.

Click HERE for the original article.

Are You Raising a Douchebag?

Your indulgent parenting is spawning a generation of entitled hipster brats.

Let us begin with the assumption that if you are a parent, you wish for your child every advantage and opportunity. From the ergonomic high chair to that all-important first sushi experience and beyond, life should be as golden for your little one as it is for, say, Pax Jolie-Pitt.

But inevitably the moment arrives when all your doting and care come back on you in the form of a precocious little barb that reminds you in no uncertain terms of . . . you. It might be that his friend Jake's eighth-birthday party was "unbelievably lame" or that "it's weird that Brandon's family flies first-class and we don't," or maybe it's simply that "these taquitos taste like turd."

It's then that you must reckon with the real possibility that your drive to make little Johnny better, smarter, and hipper has merely turned him into a douchebag. Put it this way: If it's your child, not you, who gets to choose your weekend brunch spot, or if he's the one asking how the branzino is prepared, it's probably time to take a hard look at your own behavior.

It's not like we're the first generation to turn out Frankenkinder. Since the dawn of time, parents have been dressing their kids in ridiculous sailor suits and dragging them on ski trips to Gstaad. But lately it feels like we're scaling new heights as bad examples. We create parenting blogs that transform our preschoolers into fetishized celebrities. We subscribe to magazines that suggest buying a 5-year-old a $400 Marc Jacobs cashmere hoodie. We think it's cute when our kids learn to text message (until we realize POS means "parent over shoulder") and quietly rejoice when they can tell which Ramone is Dee Dee and which one is Joey.




mini-douche

Alas, convenient as it might be, we can't blame the children. "There's no such thing as a spoiled gene," says parenting expert Michele Borba, author of Don't Give Me That Attitude! "The brat factor is all learned." Which means that if you're the dad pushing Junior around in a limited-edition Bugaboo stroller by Bas Kosters ($2,000), carrying a Louis Vuitton diaper bag ($1,380), and checking in at a members-only parenting club like Citi-babes in Manhattan (annual membership: $2,000), your offspring are probably developing some serious entitlement issues. Just read the news. The Wall Street Journal recently reported on the rise of sixth-grade "fashion bullies" who terrorize peers who don't wear Junior Dolce & Gabbana. Then there was the New York Times article on youngsters—4-year-olds!—who fancy themselves collectors of highly coveted works of art.

It's not just about money, though. Since the nineties, a surge in overprotective parenting has promoted discussion over discipline and made leisure activities contingent upon nanny CPR training (have you ever even considered letting your kid play with a pocket knife or a rusty Flexible Flyer, never mind have a paper route?).

In 1999, Katie Allison Granju wrote a book, Attachment Parenting, about the virtues of catering to the needs and emotions of the very young, from breast-feeding-on-demand to co-sleeping. While she still advocates that approach, she also believes that society tries to turn babies into children too fast and then treats older kids much like babies. Her forthcoming book is titled Let Them Run With Scissors: How Over-Parenting Hurts Children, Parents and Society. "We no longer allow children to have personal autonomy, to experience hard knocks, or to take real risks," she says. "The result is a nation of overweight, overindulged, overly neurotic kids who whine and moan and often can't function on their own."

It certainly doesn't help that we 21st- century thirty- and fortysomething parents expect our children to dress, speak, and appreciate Roxy Music just like us. "The Mini-Me phenomenon of kids wearing Sex Pistols T-shirts and sending back foie gras is cute but also gross and dangerous," says Ada Calhoun, the editor-in-chief of Babble, an online bible for hipster parents. "If you've turned your kid into a carbon copy of yourself, that kid loses his voice. He's only trying to please the grown-up, who only wants to live vicariously through the kid."




mini-douche

Greg Ramey is a child psychologist with nearly 30 years of experience counseling families and children at Dayton Children's in Dayton, Ohio. He says the biggest change he's seen is that parents no longer want to act like parents. "Over and over, I see parents who try to be their kids' best friends," he says. "That's a flashing red light. Our kids don't need to be our buddies. They can like us when they're 30. Mostly what kids want is for a parent to be in charge."

The consequences of parental boundary blurring are everywhere. As Vanity Fair recently noted, 2007 is the "year the mothers of Hollywood's wild girls—Paris, Lindsay, and Britney—have found themselves almost as much a part of the tabloid circus as the daughters themselves."

Fortunately, it's never too late to fix the problem. Sharon Pieters sees kids with terrible behavior make the turnaround week after week, and it has everything to do with parenting, she says. The former nanny runs Child Minded, a parent-coaching company that goes into homes to vanquish the Scylla and Charybdis of offspring hell: disrespect and boorishness. For $1,200 a day, Pieters will help parents tame their brats. Whether it's a problem with too much stuff ("I visited some kids in Long Island who had their own moon bounce," Pieters says) or incessant back talk ("Some children's vocabulary is limited to 'Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!'"), the solution is the same: "Set limits and stick to them." The hard part for most moms and dads is admitting there's a problem in the first place. Borba, the parenting writer, says, "The last thing parents today want after a day of work is to come home and be a cop. They think it's going to hurt the child's self-esteem to get a hard no. But you have to look at your kids and say, 'Are they turning out the way I want them to turn out?' If not, it's up to you to start to change things."

That takes care of the kids, but what about you? A possible solution comes from Asra Q. Nomani, who recently wrote an essay on Babble about being trapped in a cycle of out-of-control birthday parties, in which she kept trying to outdo the previous year's festivities. Turns out what her kid liked most wasn't the trip in the limo to the recording studio or even the playtime with a real tiger cub. It was the simpler, everyday stuff, the things that any kid's birthday party might include, like a birthday cake. Which makes you realize, the next time your inner douchebag tells you to book Criss Angel for your son's fifth birthday, you might want to take a deep breath and give yourself a hard no.

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Pride? What about loyalty?

On the road today, I saw a car with one of those window mount flags (like the ones everyone had after 9/11), and it was the flag of England. In the United States of America, on the day when the USA played against England in the World Cup, a citizen (presumably) of this country was waving a flag of England.
This is something that I could never fathom. Why would a citizen of the United States champion for a foreign country over their own? Of course you also see shows of support for other countries as well from Americans. I just don't get it. I mean, when you were in high school or college, did you redirect your allegiance towards the school that your parents or grandparents went to (especially if they were playing against your school)? Some may say that it's not the same thing. Well, yeah...it is. If you are a citizen of the USA, you are an American, plain and simple. I don't care if you're of Italian, Greek, Portuguese, or Irish descent. If you're a citizen and resident of the USA, you're an American. You're a part of "team" America.
If you're ashamed to call yourself an American before your country of ancestry...if your "motherland" is so much better, then please, by all means don't let the door hit you on the ass on the way out.

Oh, and before some wise-ass tries to call me out on the fact that I am a Miami Dolphins fan living in New Jersey, forget it. That's NOT the same thing, and I'll explain why.
When the USA has a team, it is made up of Americans. As Americans, we are by default a "part" of it. When you are a student of a school, that school's team is made up of other students of that school. Again, by default you are a part of them.
But in the case of professional American sports, the Miami Dolphins are not comprised of residents of Miami. They are paid employees doing a job for an employer that happens to have it's office in Miami. Even the residents of Miami are not a direct "part" of the team. They just happen to share real estate with the team's office.
It's not the same thing.

Monday, June 07, 2010

In search of Keith Moon

Check out the drummer in this video. He's like a caricature of Keith Moon (if that's even possible).

Posted via email from FZDolfan's Posterous

Tuesday, June 01, 2010

Finally! New Frogg Café!

Some of you are familiar with this great band.
For those that aren't, to borrow and paraphrase from Frank Zappa, check out..."the best band you haven't heard in your life."


FROGG CAFÉ Release “Bateless Edge” on 10T Records

 
Charleston, SC – June 1, 2010 (10T Records) – 10T Records is ecstatic to
announce the release of the brand new studio release by FROGG CAFÉ,
entitled “Bateless Edge.”  This will be the New York-based band’s fourth
studio release and will be officially released by 10T Records on July
2nd, 2010.
 
On “Bateless Edge,” Frogg Café consists of Bill Ayasse (violin,
mandolin, vocals, hand percussion), James Guarnieri (drums,
glockenspiel, orchestral percussion), Andrew Sussman (bass, cello,
acoustic guitar), Nick Lieto (lead vocals, keyboards, trumpet,
flugelhorn), John Lieto (trombone), and features the triumphant return
of co-founding member, Frank Camiola (guitar, string bass, banjo).
“Bateless Edge” is a stunning 78-minute statement, described by
bassist/composer Andrew Sussman as a "reflection on incidents revolving
around our own personal lives, as well as an integrated and newly formed
sound that takes this band into realms that have been unexplored until
now."  “Bateless Edge” sees Frogg Café fearlessly breaking new musical
ground while crafting some of the darkest and most intense musical
statements made thus far by this ever-evolving band.
 
In this elaborate journey, Frogg Café explores many new textures and
colors that add great dimension to the contemporary jazz-fusion sound
that is unmistakably their own.  The band incorporates for the first
time detailed orchestration akin to symphony music.  Clarinets,
mandolins, cellos, glockenspiels, bass clarinets, xylophones, string
quartets and many other instruments all integrate to create a soundscape
that will yield the listener infinite details on future listens.
Classical Indian influences also find their way into the mix, along with
new levels of intricate compositional complexity, including a track that
boasts a 28-page musical score consisting of roughly twenty-five
different instruments.
 
Many additional instrumentalists were recruited to record this latest
opus, including Andrew Sussman's father, Steve Sussman, on clarinet,
Cardboard Amanda member, Dee Harris, on Indian Slide guitar and
Tamboura, as well as fellow 10T artists, Vessela Stoyanova (Fluttr
Effect), and Steve Kastikas (Little Atlas).
 
“Frogg Café is very special to 10T Records,” says label president Steve
Carroll.  “They were one of the bands that were foundational to the
creation of 10T, and we couldn’t be more thrilled to be bringing this
release to the world.  It is quite simply the definitive creative
statement for a band that has consistently made a career out of being
among the best of the best.”
 
“Bateless Edge” is available for pre-order starting on June 1, 2010. 
All orders received between now and the official release date will ship
by the end of the week prior to the official release.
 
Additionally, everyone who pre-orders “Bateless Edge” will receive
exclusive FREE temporary access to download “On the LillyPadd,” a full
length digital album featuring the following previously unreleased Frogg
Café recordings:
 
1. A Brass Quartet piece called "Prelude" that was originally
recorded for Bateless Edge, but was cut due to time constraints. 
 
2. A 25-minute in the studio spaced-out Frogg jam called "At the
Table of the Leptons". 
 
3. Excerpts from a never-released live show from Orion Studios
recorded in Dec. 2006.  
 
The band feels that this was one of their best shows, and features never
been heard tracks.
 
All tracks from “Bateless Edge” are currently available to preview in
their entirety through the 10T Records website:
 
After July 2, “Bateless Edge” will be available through your favorite
retail outlet for immediate purchase.
 
For further information: Steve Carroll 10T Records www.10trecords.com

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