How great would this be?

Found this bit amusing. I would gladly agree to all of this if I could retire in 5 years!

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 The Business Section of the St Petersburg Times asked readers for ideas on "How Would You Fix
the Economy?"  I think this guy nailed it!

Dear Mr. President:

Please find below my suggestion for fixing Americas economy.

Instead of giving billions of dollars to companies that will squander the
money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan.

You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:

There are about 40 million people over 50 in the work force.
Pay them $1 million apiece severance for early retirement with the following
stipulations:

1) They MUST retire. Forty million job openings - Unemployment fixed.

2) They MUST buy a new American CAR. Forty million cars ordered - Auto Industry fixed.

3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage - Housing Crisis fixed.

It can't get any easier than that!

If more money is needed, have all members of Congress and their constituents
pay their taxes...

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Oh no!

Okay, so the condo downstairs from me seems to have been sold. It would have been nice if it were sold 6 months ago because I took a beating on my heating bill this winter having a cold dwelling below me.
Anyway, the woman (of course it was) driving this vehicle may or may not be the new owner/resident. If it is, she better do a better job of parking when she parks in her assigned spot which is next to mine!
Why is it that more often than not, the people driving these tanks don't know how to judge them?

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CNN Breaking News

Okay, I feel bad for the animals, but how does anyone over 40 read about this story and not think of the Honeymooners? ;-)
 
 
 
-----Original Message-----
From: CNN Breaking News
Sent: Thursday, April 23, 2009 12:48 PM
To: textbreakingnews@ema3lsv06.turner.com
Subject: CNN Breaking News
 
-- Pharmacy that supplied medicine for polo ponies that later died says the medicine was incorrectly prepared.

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Botanists Shocked by Porcupine Tree Discovery

A little mild humor for today. :-)
Click on the picture for the story.

via puertoricolifestyle.com

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Park much?

Mark
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Sent from my Blackjack II

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Breaking News?

What has our society become when THIS is breaking news?!
-----Original Message-----
From: CNN Breaking News
Sent: Friday, April 17, 2009 2:18 AM
Subject: CNN Breaking News
 
-- Ashton Kutcher is first to reach 1 million followers in Twitter contest with CNN.

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Controlling Your Camera’s Flash

Controlling Your Camera's Flash

Interesting little commentary from David Pogue. I especially like this part, which I've known for years, and am amazed at how many people don't:

"Your camera's flash probably has a range of about 10 feet. Beyond that distance, it does nothing at all—except waste battery power and annoy people."

"You know when thousands of flashes go off at a rock concert, football game, or school play? Don't be one of those clueless people. They're all firing their flashes for nothing. Do they really think they're going to illuminate a singer, football player, or actor from 200 yards away?"

"The second time to avoid using the flash is, well, whenever possible. A no-flash picture is almost always better-looking and more realistic than a flash picture."

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It SO figures!

Here's the deal...

I used to have DirecTV which I loved, and still would recommend to anyone. Problem is that when I bought a Hi-Def flat screen, I found that I would not be able to receive any HD channels because of trees right outside my condo (which I can do nothing about). So, bye-bye DirecTV, hello Comcast (ugh!). The one very small upside...Comcast, like DirecTV, carries the NFL Network. Cablevision (the cable carrier that my friends and family have) does not carry NFLN.
Fast-forward to the present, and it turns out that as of May 1, Comcast will no longer carry NFL Network. Turns out that NFLN won't let any provider carry them unless it's on the "basic" tier. Comcast only offered it as part of an optional sports tier.
Anyway, on to my point. Now I no longer have access to the NFL Network be it at home or at a friend's, or even my local family.
So the NFL released the 2009 schedule on Tuesday, and as anyone with my luck would expect, the Dolphins have a prime time game scheduled in November on....you guessed it...the NFL Network.
What kills me is that they also have a Monday night game against the Jets. A game that had it been on NFL Network, would also be televised on a local channel, because if you live in the tri-state area, you will see the Jets and Giants on TV no matter what.

It SO figures!

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A personal milestone

Four years "smober."
58,441 cigarettes not smoked, saving $15,340.93

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This appears to be intentional

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For my fellow O&A fans

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Frank Zappa: A 'Lumpy' Legacy : NPR Music

via npr.org

Lest anyone think that I am unfairly harsh towards Gail Zappa and the ZFT, see what people with first hand knowledge have to say.
Oh, and be sure to note the box titled "Hear The Songs" directly under Frank's picture on the article page.

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Ray White quits Zappa Plays Zappa

1 April 2009

Hello Friends,

Here's a funny story... sort of.... So we're getting ready to leave for Japan and Australia and we've been rehearsing away like a good little teenage rocking combo. Diligently re-distributing parts and practicing our new musical responsibilities in the wake of Aaron Arntz's departure. We decide to stop for a moment and we say to ourselves where is Ray White?

He was supposed to be here today wasn't he? Yep today's the day for Ray. Let's call him. He doesn't answer any of his phones and they all say they are disconnected. Is he suddenly in the witness protection program? What has happened? We decide to look at our e-mails. I had one in my in box from Ray.

Ready for the hilarious punchline? Ray quit via e-mail with no advance "romance" notice whatsoever.

This sort of thing happened to Frank often. It never stopped him. While it is not enjoyable to deal with, it is predictable. History repeats itself.

As a band we have become even more galvanized by this odd turn of events. We have plenty of material to perform both vocally and instrumentally. We got a bit short changed on preparation time but we're professionals, we can handle this type of thing.

There has always been a plan to perform solely as the core band and now is as good a time as any. Quite frankly I'm looking forward to this experience. I have a lot of confidence in the core band. They are all exceptionally talented.

While we have enjoyed playing with our favorite alumni over the years it is time for a change. Yes folks, it's the end of a chapter for ZPZ.

The new chapter for ZPZ begins thusly...

'Twas the night before rehearsal and all through the studio every creature was stirring, clicking their mouses and searching the internet for new lead singers...

To be continued... ( We may have actually found one from a city far far away.)

In closing, here is the official word on the status of the upcoming tours and what to expect.

Zappa Plays Zappa will be performing as 6 piece band - until we find a few musical compatriots that will complement our line up . We will do what we always do - deliver our very best efforts to present the music of Frank Zappa with the utmost respect and have an excellent time in the process.

Please feel free to join us for the festivities.

See you on the road.

Regards, DZ

POSTED BY DWEEZIL ZAPPA AT 2009-04-01 17:30:04

via zappaplayszappa.com

No, this sort of thing did NOT happen to Frank "often."
Let's see...Napolean Murphy Brock is axed for wanting to participate in a performance that was...are you ready?....a tribute to Frank. Steve Vai and Terry Bozzio do a one and done, Ike Willis is not welcome, and now Ray White quits.

Hey Dweez? Why maybe it's YOU (and you don't even know it!) and your c*nt of a mother!
Seems all the FZ alum have nothing but fond memories of Frank, yet they don't seem to share the same sentiments towards you and the rest of the Zappa clan. Hmmm....

This blog post seems to imply that Dweezil expects to be the new incarnation of the Mothers, and that a new legion of followers will abound.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. You're NOT Frank!
Do your own thing with the talent you've surrounded yourself with. People would respect you more. You can only ride coattails for so long; then it just gets old.

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Most wonderful time finally over?

They finally took the Xmas season banners down. I wonder if they saw my post from last week? ;-)

=====
Sent from my Blackjack II

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New Gmail Feature: Autopilot

via mail.google.com

Leave it to Google to always be on the cutting edge.
Although, I don't think this feature is quite as "resourceful" as the one they rolled out about a year ago. ;-)

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